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WarpZone

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WarpZone

An open letter to my letter-opener

Posted by WarpZone Nov. 7, 2011 @ 6:18 AM EST

I used to think you were pretty classy, but lately I've realized just how dull you are. I realize you've been going through my mail. That's not the issue. You're pretty to look at, but useless in a fight. You're always cutting corners, or at least edges. The facade is wearing paper-thin by this point, and I no longer seek your stamp of approval. There was a time when I would have enveloped you in my arms. But I can no longer seal my lips. I knew I was never the only mail in your life. Consider our relationship cancelled.

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