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It's hard to believe I've already written 300 of these overly-wordy reviews. Big thanx to everyone who's flagged my reviews as Helpful, and every flash artist who's taken the time to respond to one of them. I'd say you make it all worthwhile, but let's face it, I'm not doing this for the feedback. I'm doing it because I'm an opinionated blowhard. :D

Here's to 300 more reviews! :)

Updated: 10/28/08 8:20 AM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

11 Comments

Aug. 10, 2008 | 4:46 PM ngfan14 says:

What about music reviews though? Music artists don't get much attention. :(

Aug. 10, 2008 | 10:17 PM WarpZone responds:

I did a few music reviews, yeah. But I really don't know a whole lot about music. I lack the correct terminology to describe what I like or don't like about a song.

The other thing is, I usually only dip into the Audio Portal when I need a soundtrack for something I'm working on. Flash reviews, the urge might strike at any time when I'm browsing the portal.

I'm just not very big on music, sorry.

Aug. 10, 2008 | 4:52 PM GoldenPickaxe says:

I reveiw music alot,NGFAN14.Now,I'm mainly at the audio portal,lookig for good music to reveiw,vote(I vote 5 a lot),favorite,and/or download.

Aug. 29, 2008 | 8:04 AM McCoskrie says:

Warpzone this is gonna sound retarded but I'm a big fan of your reviews!! I think the review system on NG is a bit underrated and with everyone constantly giving everything a 10 even if they go on to flame what they're reviewing it makes me wonder if I should keep ranting about stuff. But every now and then when I sift through reviews I kinda think "what the hell, might as well keep on reviewing". Keep up the good work and here's hoping you can make it all the way to 1000! haha.

Cheers

-Josh-

Dec. 4, 2008 | 11:18 AM WarpZone responds:

Keep the faith, man. :) If you can't tell people what you did and didn't like about their work, how could you possibly expect them to get any better?

Updated: Dec. 4, 2008, 11:18 AM

Sep. 9, 2008 | 10:17 AM groundpwndr says:

I thought your "aether" review was fantastic and wish you had a website to link to your poetry. That was genius!! I especially enjoyed the fact that you put to words the feeling I got when I too learned to steer like I was born to do it.

Sep. 9, 2008 | 2:29 PM WarpZone responds:

lol!

I don't do any poetry, man. I can sometimes rhyme stuff when I want to but poetry is a lot deeper and more complex than that. You gotta use symbolism and crap. I'm way too literal-thinking for that kind of thing.

I might be decent at making up song lyrics, but you can't really make a website out of that. You need music to go along with the lyrics, or it's pointless. If I was really interested in music, I might hook up with a band, but I'm really not that into it. So I just use my knack for rhyming every now and then on little side projects, like reviewing stuff at Newgrounds.

If anyone out there needs any rhymes, just ask*. :)

* Rhymes are not guarunteed to be phat or dope for any particular purpose. Rhymes are processed in a facility which includes the hook and the chain. Consult with a playa before busting rhymes. End-user assumes responsibility for all consequences of busting rhymes.

Updated: Sep. 9, 2008, 2:37 PM

Sep. 10, 2008 | 6:50 AM groundpwndr says:

I always thought the two ( rhymes and poetry ) were the same. I didn't mean to imply you were a beatnik or beret wearing emo fag, And i apologizr if you thought i meant that. I just thought that what you wrote was very off the cuff, very spontaneous, and therefore made you a lyrical genius. I always thought poets were geniuses and schtuff. Regardless of the proper nomenclature for wordsmiths such as yourself, that was a truly awesome review, and perfectly captured how i felt after playing that mind blowing game.

sorry for the insults, none were implied. As to the website, i meant a deviant art page of your writings or some shit like that.
don't stop till you get enough

Sep. 10, 2008 | 2:47 PM WarpZone responds:

None taken. :)

I don't hate poetry, I'm just not a poetry kind of guy. But I've heard it's much more than just writing a bunch of sentences that rhyme. The sentences have to describe a rose or a sunset or something. And it can't just be an actual sunset. It has to be a metaphor for sex, which has to be a metaphor for life, which has to be a clever but thin obfuscation for the author expressing some controversial opinion on the Israel/Palestine conflict. If possible, the poem should be written in goat feces and printed on used tampons. Art with a capital A is very formal about that sort of thing.

So I wouldn't presume to call myself a poet. I just copied the form of the child-like sing-song poetry used in aether, and crammed my thoughts into it as best I could. Even then, I used the wrong number of syllables in several places, and resorted to two near-rhymes.

I do have a DA page, but it's just betas of flash games and a few cheesy 2D images. Putting rhymes on it was something that never occurred to me. Frankly, I don't see the point. Poetry / lyrics / rhyming just isn't my thing. I just did it, this once.

Updated: Sep. 11, 2008, 1:26 AM

Oct. 16, 2008 | 7:49 AM ReFreezed says:

You're great at writing reviews! Just wanted to say that :)

Oct. 28, 2008 | 8:09 AM WarpZone responds:

Thanks. :) I try.

Oct. 20, 2008 | 7:51 AM 2good2b4goten says:

Wow, those are some quality reviews.

Makes mine seem like absolute shit.

Keep up the great work!

Oct. 28, 2008 | 8:18 AM WarpZone responds:

Eh, I wouldn't say that. Your reviews are quick and to the point. Mine kinda grow into these tirades on game design and aesthetics. I've had some people, especially content authors who've got a bad score from me, tell me that because my review was so long, it's no worth reading. So you could make the argument that there's something to be said for concise reviews.

My reviewing style is a throwback to the "rank each submission according to graphics, sound, humor, style and gameplay" paradigm Newgrounds used to use. Once they took that focus on different categories away, I still kept it in mind. Now I'm just in the habit of specifying what I liked or didn't like about each submission.

You can do the same thing, too. In fact, I'd say you already do. It's not necessary to cite examples or propose alternatives, or even to go into too much detail. I just like to do those things when I can, because I find it helpful when I get that kinda feedback. My way of reviewing is not the only way. It's not even the best way. It's just one way.

Just keep doing what you're doing, and improve any way you want to. Your reviews are great. Keep it up.

Oct. 23, 2008 | 6:35 PM NarutoUzimaki90 says:

Grats

Oct. 28, 2008 | 8:19 AM WarpZone responds:

thx

Nov. 24, 2008 | 2:08 AM TheBoogley says:

You are the best reviewer EVER. Insightful, opinionated with specific details added for relevance, and some tasty recepes!
That is my review of your reviewing skills.
You will notice that I am not so good at it...

Nov. 24, 2008 | 2:30 AM WarpZone responds:

Although this reviewer downplays his own reviewing abilities, his review of my reviewing skills was lean, concise, and above all, positive.

4*infinity / 5*infinity recursive stars!

Updated: Nov. 24, 2008, 2:32 AM

Nov. 26, 2008 | 1:35 AM MattHarty says:

Grats! I also enjoy writing reviews and I love when I happen to come across one of yours lol. Always a good read.

Feb. 14, 2009 | 11:44 AM WarpZone responds:

Thanks. :)

Feb. 14, 2009 | 10:54 PM ReThink says:

Your review of "Crop "Circles" was more entertaining than the game itself! Bravo sir.

Feb. 15, 2009 | 12:18 AM WarpZone responds:

Heh. Thanks. :P I try. I keep wishing I could edit that one because I was in a hurry when I wrote it. Anyway, glad you liked it. :)