Well, it finally happened. Almost a decade since it was in any way relevant, I finally saw the Matrix, plus both sequals. I scored them at a GameStop for less than it would cost to rent them.

I guess that explains every fight sequence ever seen on Newgrounds.

I had some problems with the series, of course. I choose to believe that Morpheous was simply ignorant about the fine details on how humans are being used for energy, and that it's not some alledged biological energy output (if they could tap waste heat, there are much easier ways to get it) but simply the human brains being used as paralell processors for monitoring and controlling the fusion reactors that power the machines. (You know, without slaving something valuable like an AI to the task.)

I was annoyed at the use of bullet time in the orgy/mosh pit scene when a simple establishing shot was enough to get the point across. I got sick of Morpheous constantly landing on the very edge of that semi, over and over and over again. I thought the skirmishes against the machines in the third movie were cool, but the war as a whole dragged on a bit.

But there's one thing about the Matrix movies that really stuck in my craw. It's sitting there, in the back of my mind, slowly driving me crazy. I'm almost afraid to talk about it, it's so disturbing, but here goes:

I didn't hate the last two movies.

I actually enjoyed the fuckers.

I know! I know! I can actually hear my nerd credit dropping as I type this. Every review I can find says Matrix was okay, the sequals sucked. Matrix Reloaded was only 2 bucks to buy... I'm pretty sure it's a violation of FCC regulations for me to enjoy that movie. But I enjoyed 'em anyway.

Granted, I didn't think they were any better than the first movie. And they certainly took the action in a different direction than the first movie. Maybe critics and theatre-goers were expecting them to just be bigger, badder carbon copies of the first movie. But coming to the series as late as I did, I had the opprotunity for my first watching of them to be all three movies, back-to-back. I was able to absorb them as one long story.

And really, I kinda suspect that's how they were meant to be seen. God knows I would have been bored with Matrix Revolution, if I'd come into it expecting to see non-stop bullet time kiung-fu action, and instead I got this stuff about robots and ships and seige warfare. But that's not the way it went down.

God help me, I was even able to take Keanu Reeves seriously in this role, as long as he kept the glasses on.

Maybe I'm just brain dammaged.

But, I don't know, if you own all three movies, and were disappointed with the sequals, maybe you should try watching them all three back-to-back in a marathon some night. You might just find that they're more watchable that way.