WarpZone's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[War of Da suitcases]

Way better than it has any right to be.

For some reason I found this hilarious. Probably just as a byproduct of the automatic timing. Some frames, it was a bit of a strain to read the text that quickly, but hey, it worked for Yahtzee.

Even though I have no idea who these characters are and there's not much we (the audience) could learn about them in the space of a few seconds, the drawings allowed a bit of personality to shine through, and there's a certain "party of four" element introduced by giving each of the characters equal screen time and probably reenforced by the big band music playing in the background.

Hastily-scribbled stick figures usually won't get you much here on Newgrounds, but for some reason, I'm seeing quite a few good ones today. Hmm. Budding artistic movement? Or reviewer just in a good mood? YOU DECIDE!

One suggestion, don't try to animate things like the missiles impacting one by one. At one frame per second, it'll never look like real animation. Just treat it like a comic book, showing one panel of the shot firing and one panel from a completely different angle of the shot hitting. If you absolutely *must* show a sequence of several frames, make sure the cloud of smoke from the initial explosion looks much different from the pillar of smoke rising from the dead tank.

Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to the next one. :)

Mrpink135 responds:

DUDE your invited to my birthday party and
the way these look the way they do is cause they're based on comics me and my bud draw thats why it's not fluent animation and more slideshow esque.....yaaaaaaaa thanks for the review dude
you should check out my other one Fun Wit Suitcases but has the same problem as this one

[Boogley Bus Stop]

It's less creepy if you forget it's on Newgrounds.

Normally I'm all about story, especially on Newgrounds, but I'll settle for characterization as long as the execution's good. Almost anything FBF is good, as long as it's not dots and lines bouncing around, splashes, and explosions. Thankfully, this cartoon has actual cartoon in it.

More than anything it reminds me of those very early Mickey Mouse cartoons, where walking and smiling were enough because animation itself was an amazing new innovation. You'd think that would make it too derivative to be relevant, but we seriously see so little of this oldschool stuff on NG, and it takes so much more work than what we normally see on NG, that everything old is new again. This toon gains relevance simply by rediscovering and reinventing an archaic form.

To those who don't get it: it ain't rocket science. There's a pissed-off guy and a happy guy. The happy guy wants to cheer the pissed-off guy up. The pissed-off guy isn't having any of it, on account of bein' pissed off. Happy guy pranks pissed-off guy. Pissed-off takes the bait, then gets hurt reacting to the prank. Happy guy goes "ohshitohshitohshit" and bugs out. Pissed-off guy recovers from his spill, realizes he got pranked, and laughs it off. He turns pink because now he's happy, too. Happy guy realizes he not only accomplished his mission of cheering pissed-off-guy up, but also pissed-off-guy will not kick his ass for the prank that got him hurt. "Whew."

Yeah, I was rubbed the wrong way at first just like everybody else. I thought he was gonna be ghey, or the blue guy was gonna murder him in a shower of blood, or it was just crazy random abstract weirdness and the suitcase was gonna start eating people, then turn into a bird, then the bird would splash against the floor, rendering everything we'd seen up till that point completely irrelevant. That's the cynicism of the modern internet talking.

What really makes this film uplifting is, when it's over, -and I mean *only* when it's over- you realize that there wasn't anything dark or pithy about it after all, it's just the story of a dude trying to cheer up a stranger. It's an isle of child-like innocence in a sea of dick jokes.

That's my interpretation of it, anyway. That's the nice thing about mood pieces, everyone can interpret them however they like. Don't get it? Erase your assumptions and expectations and watch it again. Try to look at it from an outsider's point of view. Even just read other peoples' interpretations and try them on to see if they work for you. But never take anyone's word for it, what a piece means, not even the original artist. Art *always* has something hidden to teach us.

Okay so you get some pork chops from the store. These are real thick pork chops that have been cut most of the way through the middle, like little raw pork sandwiches. You need a big, deep skillet with a glass lid that locks in most of the steam. Heat the skillet up to high, throw a little butter in the pan, and put the pork chops in (still folded like little sandwiches,) and sizzle them on both sides for 1-2 minutes. Just enough to get the outside golden-brown. Put these on a plate when they're done and set aside. DON'T eat 'em yet, raw pork is BAD for you!

Now you make a cup of chicken stock from bullion in one pot and some stove top stuffing in another. (Chicken stock from the store works, too.) Stuff each of the butterflied pork chops with stuffing, like little inside-out sandwiches. Stick a toothpick through all the way through each sandwich to hold it together while cooking.

Now you put the leftover stuffing in the skillet, put the stuffed porkchops on top of that, and pour the chicken broth over the whole thing. (Hope your skillet is big enough to hold all this shit.) Now put the lid on, and steam the porkchops for like an hour on medium-low heat. Steaming not only cooks the insides of the pork chops, but it softens up all that golden-brown char so you get the taste but not the toughness. Cut through the pork to make *absolutely sure* it's cooked all the way through. Serve.

TheBoogley responds:

Dear god! I love your reviews... Makes it all worth while.
But I love you recepes even more... nom nom nom! :U

[The Lonely Castle Crasher]

Way too much buildup, not enough punchline.

Telling a story is always worth extra points, but in this case there is no story. Just a gay joke with a narrator tacked on. Animation-wise, I'd say it's about on par with Homestar Runner. Interpret that how you like. There's nothing really bad about it, the story just lacks substance. I'm gonna have to dig through Lavagasm's flashes now and see what else he's capable of, but this shows promise.

Arms would be nice.

LAVAGASM responds:

Meh don't bother, they all suck lol. This is about the best I've got. Arms were originally intended (floating hands), but blue's arms were glitching and I couldn't figure it out. I found it weird to have everybody but blue with hands, so I took out everybody's hand but green (I felt it was vital to the story, whatever that may be.) Flash is crazy sometimes. Thanks for the review!

[Double Dragon 2 Zomg]

Score: ZOMG!

I'm not sure why, but I found this extremely hilarious for some reason. I'm not even sure if it was an homage or a parody, or if it's a parody, whether it was making fun of DD2 directly or just mocking badly-done sprite movies on Newgrounds.

But whatever it was, it was freaking hilarious. XD

Do River City Ransom next!

LSD265 responds:

uh thanks man glad ya liked it

sorry I don't know what River City Ransom is? lol..I might have to play it..

[All Quiet on theShoreline]

Hmmm... actually, I like where this is going.

You're not just spamming the portal, you're actually telling a story in the process. I like that. Not many flashes on Newgrounds bother to have a story in them.

I think after you've done like, forty of these things, you should bundle them all together into one SWF, mess with the pacing a little bit, maybe add a few scenes, and you'd have the whole epic adventure set to In The Navy.

If you do all that, and then actually synch it up properly, I bet you'd get a blue score, easy.

Caecilius responds:

I was actually thinking about doing that.

[Mindy Learns a Moral]

Quirky. Sterotypical. Over-the-top. Good stuff!

There's no question that this turned out exactly how Andy intended it. :) For better or worse, you've got a quirky, overexagerrated drawing style, extremely labored writng, annoying valley-girl voice acting, and, to quote one Babs Bunny, "plot-holes big enough to drive a mac truck through!" And to be honest, I don't know that I'd have it any other way.

The visuals range from minimal-tweening, a little light FBF, and lots of stationary shots of blinking cell-phones, but after the first scene you won't be thinking about the art anymore. Somehow, even though the story itself might be crap, the way it which it is told dominates the viewing experience. You will care about this vapid sterotype, oh yes. You will also care about her damn phone. I'm not sure why. It just happens.

This is what all those traditional animation books are talking about, between sets of ghey little storyboards of Jetsons-era characters prancing awkwardly about. This is the power of traditional animation. This is the magic.

I do take exception to the phrase "today's teenagers" in the author's description, though. You saw almost EXACTLY this same story back on Tiny Toons in the 1990's. A lot of these memes date back to the Cosby Show in the 80's. And perhaps to a lesser extent, these same themes have been with us since Happy Days. (Or maybe teenagers have always been like this, and we just didn't start recording it accurately until we invented TV.)

The theme may or may not be timeless, but it sure feels that way. Regardless, Mindy manages to breathe new life into these tired memes, and while there may be room for improvement, it's very watchable and easy to digest.

I'm tempted to recommend that the artist waste less time on totally obvious plot twists and exposition, replacing it with more banter and one-liners for a quicker, snappier show... but if he did that, I guess it wouldn't really be Mindy anymore. Someone has picked up the torch, for better or worse, of a bygone era of cartoons. I think it's Tiny Toons, but someone older than me might say Bugs Bunny and someone younger than me might say Animaniacs. Could it be that this cheesy cell-phone drama really is timeless?

Man. I feel really old now. :P All reminiscing about the 90's. Heh.

TmsT responds:

Of course "the teenager" doesn't really change over the generations, but I'd rather be making fun of today's teenagers than yesterday's, since the latter don't overreact anymore (as they are no longer teenagers). But you can be sure that I will keep taking motifs from the classics, especially old sitcoms and Shakespeare (which are almost the same thing if you think about it, really) and no-one shall be spared from my convoluted plots, false/unresolved endings, and unrealistically overblown dialogue! >:3

I wanna bring back what "Doug" should have been if it was allowed to keep developing and maturing along with its audience instead of getting bought by Disney and made to stagnate into something that even I, a fan of the original series, just couldn't watch.

[Muscle Bird]

Moderately funny dating tape parody.

It's not as funny as those Mad TV dating tape sketches, but it's all right. I found the whole Muscle Bird character kinda dull. Most of the humor is observational, and kinda stale if you've ever seen any other parodies of dating tapes before.

I would have liked to see more of an effort to draw humor from the ridiculousness of the character. One bright moment was when he started pecking up the steroids, hehehe. But I think there was potential for more Bird Humor, here. (For one thing, burds have hollow bones. What would that be like for a stuntman? :) )

I suppose I should be grateful you made a furre flash that was only minimally creepy. I'll take a look at your other work. You clearly know your way around Flash, and you're willing to work hard on the story, humor, and character design. Even though my personal reaction to this flash was lukewarm, I can tell you're a great animator.

I look forward to your future works. Keep experimenting, keep trying. I'm sure you'll blow me away with one of your submissions. It just wasn't this one.

BorrisMoose responds:

Thanks for the in- depth review dude, it will be really helpful when working on future submissions.

[*Hyperanimation! Pilot]

Not bad. :D

I don't know that I'd call it "Hyperanimation." I mean, I've seen much more high-quality animation by other Flash artists. It's certianly better than the average fare around here, but that's not really saying much.

What you've got here is a basic meshing of sitcom and comedy cartoon, with a small dose of irreverant web humor (zombie!) and a few novel visual jokes. I liked the bomb-shaped cereal, in particular.

I also liked the way he subverted expectations by actually buying the cereal. (Though I notice you didn't actually draw him paying for it... don't tell me Hyperanimation skimped on the animation because it was too much work?)

Mr. Oven Mitts was funny for exactly three seconds, and now that those three seconds are up he will NEVER be funny again, so I hope you have something else lined up for him besides Straight Man + Sight Gag.

Overall, you managed to make ti through the show with decent visuals, adequate sound, and mildly amusing writing. The speed of the show is definitely an asset, here. When you can't produce great content, at least you can get to the point quickly. I look forward to seeing what you do with this series. You're off to a good start. Just keep it up and nobody will be disappointed until you start running out of ideas. Who knows, maybe you'll even do something awesome with it.

JunkFoodKing responds:

Yeah. Mr. Oven Mitts just didn't have many lines this episode. He's no sight gag.

And, I did skimp on the animation at the store scene, but let's just say Dack is a thief.

[Alex Seryoua: Episode I]

Great stuff! More please!

It was absolutely awesome. I loved the design of the alien complex and the way the bio-suit worked. You also picked a great voice actress for the role of Alex. How about some VA love in the author comments?

The only flaws I can think of are it's too short and the running animation looked pretty stiff and forced.

I would have used some music from Newgrounds if I were you. Not because the HL music sounds bad, on the contrary. I fully expect you to be able to go to DVD with this series, but in order to cash in on it you'll need to change the music. So that's kind of a shame.

Also, the whole Alex/Half-Life association makes it feel kinda derivitive, and the aliens look kinda like Vortigaunts, so... yeah, it feels a little derivitive. I probably would have named her somehting other than Alex just to avoid that whole comparison. But I don't think anyone would call this plagiarism. Just a little "familiar."

The storytelling seems great, too. The reason I say that is because they IMPLY so much without actually really GIVING any information directly to the audience at this early point. And you've got three writers going in on this? I am looking forward to this one!

danomano65 responds:

well, i understand the music suggestion. i may do that. also, you may not believe me, but i've played all of half-life and totally missed the name Alex association. i just liked the name with the last name. i'm really not trying to parallel. but i will look into the music thing.

[Subordinate Droids 3]

Skateboard crash joke = a start.

Okay, let me explain something. It's not enough to just put content in your cartoon. People just walking around doing stuff is boring. You need to add drama & comedy to this. As it is it's just a bunch of painfully slow scenes with painfully obvious conclusions and painfully boring dialogue.

Or to put it another way, here's what you're doing right now:
<Title Screen>
Hamish: I'm hungry.
*Hamish fixes a sandwich*
Hamish: "Great, now I can eat this sandwich!"
*sandwich falls on the floor*
Hamish: "Oh no! How will I eat my sandwich now!?"
*Hamish picks up the sandwich, blows the dust off of it.*
Hamish: (Insert really obvious pun that nobody laughs at. For good reason.)
<Ending credits>

It's boring because 100% of the things that happen in this cartoon were totally predictable. You need to mix things up a little more.

DRAMA:
*Hamish makes a sandwich and starts eating it.*
*Robot runs in* "Sir! Don't eat that sandwich!"
*Hamish looks at the half eaten sandwich and starts panicing*
Hamish: "What!? Why not! What's wrong with it!?"

Now the audience is in suspense. This is because the audience doesn't KNOW yet what's wrong with the sandwich. Like Hamish, the audience is anxious to find out what was wrong with the sandwich.

This same scene would NOT be dramatic if you already SHOWED the audience a bad guy poisoning the sandwich ahead of time. This is important. If the audience already knows there is something wrong with the sandwich, then they will EXPECT this entire scene so you mgiht as well skip it, or surprise the audience by doing the opposite of what the audience expects:

HUMOR:
*villian poisons sandwich*
*Hamish picks up the sandwich*
Robot: "Sir! Don't eat that sandwich!"
Hamish: "Oh my god! You're RIGHT! This is that crappy low-carb bread!" *throws sandwich in the trash*

You can further mix it up by making random, silly things happen. This could be humor or it could be suspenseful action, or both. Either way is fine, as long as it's UNEXPECTED!

RANDOM DRAMA:
*After the sandwich has been thrown away, the trash can starts to glow. We do NOT show the audience what's happening in the trash can, we just show that something weird is happening and cut away. Later, after the audience has forgotten about it, it'll be that much more surprising when a SANDWICH MONSTER attacks, and the audience will realize what the trash can scene meant.

RANDOM HUMOR:
If the sandwich monster wasn't random enough, maybe Hammish goes on to make his next sandwich out of two playing cards and a packet of hot sauce, because that's the only other food he could find in the house. Then when he tries to bite down on it, the packet breaks and the suace squirts out and hits the villian, who was hiding in the kitchen and maybe muttering something funny about why the poison didn't work.

INVERSION: (Do the exact opposite of what we expect)
*Villian poisons sandwich*
Robot: "NO! Don't eat it!"
*Hamish eats it*
Hamish: "Hey, that was a pretty good sandwich."
(This is funny because we were expecting him to be poisoned and he wasn't.)

After a surprise has been revealed to the audience, you have to explain why the surpsising thing happened. Either have the character wonder about it:

Robot: "Um, sir, don't humans die when they eat poison?"
Hamish: "Yeah, what's up with that?"
*They go study the crusts of the sandwich to try and figure out why*

Or have someone else figure out what's going on:

Villian: "Wait a minute... That's wasn't the poison I put in the sandwich! It was..."
DRAMA: "My new Monster Potion!"
COMEDY: "Laxative!"
RANDOM: "Coupon Spray!"
(If the sandwich was spiked with something random and silly like "coupon spray," now the audience is wondering what the heck coupon spray is. Show it in the next scene!)

The trick is to ask the audience a question, or pose a mystery, THEN answer it LATER. If you show the cause first, then the effect should be something other than what the audience expects.

You can learn more at www.tvtropes.org

Good luck mate!

sorbitol responds:

You could have just posted the web address and saved me a lot of time! :)

I do know most of this stuff already but my main objective with this episode was to introduce some new characters.
If you see episode 1 you'll see that the reason things were happening was not revealed until the end of the cartoon.
Then, in part 2, I gave them a more bona-fide adventure.
This time I was trying to follow Hamish through his normal day and bring some new characters in with events slowly building up to their conclusion.
But I'm grateful you've taken the time to recognise some potential in these cartoons and go to the trouble of braking things down in the way that you have.

I've had a little read through the site and bookmarked the page.

Thanks a lot WarpZone!