WarpZone's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[And Now...Spooks n' Juju.]

WTF mate. But in a good way.

Graphics: The best I've seen so far by Tablet-co. That's not saying much. Okay, this was supposed to be about the graphics. Basically, I'm going to tell you what I tell everybody, which is that you should start drawing with vector shapes. Good use of color, could have been better.

Style: I liked the cheesey nod to castlevania. Okay, Angie and Meanie Mc BadBad, I want you to watch this with your eyes CLOSED. Okay? Do it right now. Go. Are you done? Put your hands up to your ears. You see how your hands weren't already covering your ears just from watching this movie? And how there is no blood on your hands after covering your ears? That's because this submission DIDN'T feature the sounds of a death metal ensemble being dragged behind a car as it speeds down an asphalt turffed hill and slams into a wall, AKA "Grunge." This is only one of the things you did right with this submission, and I encourgae this lack of traffic accident music in your future releases.

Violence: "What are you doing here in our living room?" "I'm going to run into you really fast and it's probabaly going to hurt somewhat." "No... Don't! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Humor: The food powerup was kinda funny. You don't see many black sterotypes in comedy these days, but I guess since we were raising everything ELSE from the dead, one joke couldn't hurt. Hey if you want to get revenge, while your bother is sleeping, you could make a cartoon about him taking it in the ass. Hey, and maybe he could be like in prison when this is happening... you know, for murdering you four times. Yeah, that could work! Erm... Anyway, back to THIS submission... I thought the skellington playing its ribs as a xylophone was pretty clever. And Don Knotts leading an army of the undead has got to be the most hillarious thing I ever saw. No wonder they didn't catch her! Um, you. Or something.

Overall: This was good. Not the best submission on NG, but it was kinda funny. Definitely better than your crappy half-assed submissions like Hitler is a Sensitive Man and I Saw You At The Pet Shop. You should just like, turn the microphone on and start making fun of each other, and then make animation to go along with it.

HappySquid responds:

Alright, I'm awake now, and this is the first review I read. Although you try to act as if you're not being offensive, and showing critique.. well you are. First off.. I don't know who the hell told you this was about graphics, this is something I did in like half a day (more or less) with a blood vessel popped in my right eye. As for drawing with vector shapes.. why not also suggest me to to everything with the pencil tool and motion tween on 700 different layers? Sorry, I'm not out to be like every other doucher on newgrounds. It was another one of those times when I was having a conversation with someone and then I said "Dude, I'm so making a flash about ______" and they so "No you're not!", and I don't turn shit like that down, so I say "Just watch me." This has been the scenario for Shut Up Brad, and Meanie McBadBad.. and now.. Spooks N' Juju. Let me also say that "And Now..." is a series of 13 really silly (and usually incredibly shitty) flashes that I make in my free time of extreme boredom. The thing that makes And Now Flashes different than the normal bullshit we pump out've our asses is that they come to me when I hear a silly videogame song and say "Hey.. this would be funny if _____" then I continue to make (usually) a 20 second pile of (somehow) silly animated 'wonderment'. This leads me to my second point:


This is not a nod to Castlevania, it's a game called Ghouls 'n Ghosts or some shit.. I've also hear it called Ghosts n. Goblins, Goblins n' Ghouls, and a bunch've other stupid psuedo-spooky shit.. the games are fun.. but I don't follow the series enough to give a damn. And all and all.. this is supposed to be a parody on Scooby-Doo.. and really old Disney Cartoons.. you know, stuff that's supposed to be kinda spooky but is really just laughable. And since Jatae is deathly afraid of ghosts.. well, yeah. Also.. as for our previous flashes.. do you understand the meaning of Satire? Do you actually think I would be proud of screaming like some shitty Grunge rocker about Jatae's cat? But I mean it's cool you like this one the best and stuff.


Also.. yeah, black stereotypes.. do you not watch Chappelle's Show? or Mad TV? or Any stand-up comedy whatsoever? Most people just think they're dead because (sorry) white people just can't make fun of other ethnicities publically without liberal hippies trying to kill you, which leads me to my next point. I am gay and do enjoy buttsecks, if by gay you mean half mexican, and buttsecks you mean chicken fajitas. And that's pretty cool you noticed the Don Knotts thing, I didn't think most people would know who the hell that is.. then again I havent checked other reviews.. and, I'm too fucking lazy right now.

Thanks for saying it was good and kinda funny. And as for our other flashes being half-assed submissions.. well.. guilty as charged. As Hitler is a Senstive man is on NG? Shit on a shingle.. Jatae must've had fun with the upload button, I'll have to check that out later ;D. Oh and about having us all argue with the microphone on and make a animation to go along with it: It's going to be a series called.. well we don't know what it's called yet, but we've got a few episodes planned.. that's pretty much what the coup de grace of Tablet-co was/is supposed to be.. we just haven't got around to it.. You know.. I will probably copy and paste some of this stuff and put it in the description.. thing.

It's not like I'm pissed off or anything, this is just the first review I saw, and I'm half awake, and since you took soooo much time to type all that out, I thought I'd return the favor =D

[Gym Clothes]

Not since Platnium Grit have my eyes enjoyed pain.

Graphics: "Class after class of ugly, ugly children." The backgrounds were good and the lines were nice and crisp. Colors made sense and everything lookes smooth, except the jerky, high FPS animation. This added to the mood, though, and made evrythign seem alive and expressive. Strangely enough, the girls seemed a little easier on the eyes. The guys just looked like crosseyed freaks of nature.

Style: If this was a stylistic choice, good job. Actually I think if you smoothes things out and made it look good, it would somehow be a step backwards, but I can't really justify or explain that statement. My gut tells me this is awesome, but only when you do it. People should NOT copycat this style.

Sound: Great voices! I think this person actually knows a girl. Good for him!

Violence: None. Yet. Boy, after class, though, he's gonna get his ass FED to him! Silly boy. You're not allowed to be gay in America! :D Especially not in the public school system.

Interactivity: noun. None. I mean none.

Humor: Well I laughed.

Overall: MAKRE MORE! :) I wouldn't change a thing! Even though the boys were ugly, they were some kind of freaky flash eyeball-bleeding EXCITING ugly. I'm not even going to say "make it longer," because at least you didn't waste my time with 20 minutes worth of "...IS PROUD TO PRESENT..." Don't change your style or visuals at all unless you want to. Just make more of them! YAY!

stratocastermaster responds:

Thank you very much for the comments. By the way i'm a girl. But yah my style comes from a bunch of motion tweens, and i guess i'll stick to it for now. Thanksman!

[Breathtaker]

Endothermic aura? It was COLD, you pretentious ba

Graphics: squiggly stick figures, but done with a good sense of proportion and 3D space. Eyes and movement were all quality work. Despite the simplistic style, there was a strong sense of things being "real" and "solid." The scanlines are where it's at. Now watch, 50,000 nubs are going to put scanlines over their stick figures playing CS, and expect the same scores you got. Oh well. We'll blam that bridge when it crosses us.

Style: Actually very good style for an animated series. It felt like a real show. Too bad it was just an intro and not an actual SHOW. I hate demos. They always put up the credits and I think it's the title screen, then it says Replay and I'm like God dammit.

Sound: Awesome music. Good, strong voice acting too... it's just... UGH! Who TALKS like that? Apparently, "artists" do.
It's not JUST that he's whiny and depressed, and it's not JUST that he talks about "us" and "them" and "the system" and "the man" without specifying who or what these supposed evils are. It's the fact that he does both together, and it sounds like that's all he ever talks about. It makes me immagine what would happen if he went into a coffee shop.

"Hi! Welcome to Barstuck's! What can I getcha?"

"My world is a malestorm of bitter blackness, boiling with the steam of a thousand lives extinguished."

"Um... okay, Regular or decaf?"

"Decaf."

Violence: You'd think an angsty, misunderstoof emo suddenly turning into death incarnate would be a really gory masacre. Yeah, it wasn't, so much.

Interactivity: Linear progression of several thousand faces, every moment destroyed before we can even register its passing. Only slight variations seperate them all them from the mediocrity of the status quo. With no control. With no end in sight. Until utter blackness consumes all. Then there's some credits. Includes preloader.

Humor: Well I'm having a lot of fun imitating it, but the author wasn't trying to be funny. Um... I think. Maybe this was a sarcastic pardoy of emos? But he was trying so HARD... ugh, I don't know. If he was trying to be serious, then and only then, was it funny. Kepische?

Overall: Immagine if Lillum stopped after the first page of text. That's the ammount of storytelling this guy manages to do. I don't know what's going to happen next in the story, but I bet it involves the futility of life and the cruel absurdity of the world we have created. And, you know, this guy who can kill people. Or maybe he can just make people gasp. I suppose he wasn't exactly explicit on that, but I assume he meant he could kill people.

FINAL SCORE: BLACK

TheMint400 responds:

hey man! wow im loving these reviews... so constructive! but yeah about the "endothermic aura"... endothermic doesn't have to be cold necessarily (even though i said he got a chill), i meant it in that it absorbs energy. tying in with the absorbing of breath. and whatnot. see, i told you it didn't reallly make sense, but it kinda does in some stupid ways. thanks for all that though!!! :)

[EvilClockHouse:Revisited]

Too short, even for a clock movie.

Graphics: Great backgrounds. Typical crappy clockness, except without the emotive FBF faces flipping around all over the place. BurritoClock? More like, Dismembered Hairy Leg Clock.

Style: You can't deny that this film has great ambiance. Too bad it's only 3 seconds long and there's only one fourth of a joke. (Note to the author: Please do not reply to this telling me exactly how long it was, and that there was one whole joke. I know how long it is. I am exaggerating for comedic effect. You should try it in your cartoons.)

Sound: Great music, Really establishes the ambiance. Whatever movie you stole it from should be proud.

Violence: none. Burrito Clock obviously escorts TomatoClock out of the house and then goes to the store to buy some ketchup.

Interactivity: movie

Humor: none. Well, one fourth of a joke. All right, one joke. It's just you better look quick or you might miss it.

Overall: I hate movies with pretentiously long title screens and credits that are twice as long as the rest of the movie. This is established fact. You can look at any of my reviews to see this quite plainly. If a murder occured, and the police had no leads, but the motive was that the vic submitted a movie to Newgrounds that had a long black background with white text and almost no animation, I would fully expect the police to at least stop by and ask me a few questions, tell me not to leave town. At the very least. That said, the author's stated intention was to improve the quality of his movie that got blammed. I hope he succeeeds, because all 5 seconds of it looked nice.

HINT: IF IT STILL GETS BALMMED, DON'T REDRAW IT, MAKE IT LONGER YOU JACKASS!

TomatoClock responds:

but that wouldnt be staying true to the original :(

[NG Parodies 3 Teaser]

Um, isn't THIS a coming sooNEVER preview?

Graphics: Author perfectly parodies every crappy flash style known to mankind. In other words, the graphics suck. Pretentious gothic splash screen is the funniest part. Oh my god I can't stop laughing every time I see that axe or cloak or whatever it is. LOL! Classic.

Style: Same as graphics, the author tries and succeeds at copying the look and feel of every horrible submission that drags its carcass through the portal. No, I don't think it's even slightly suspicious that this user hasn't released anything at all other than Newgrounds Parodies. What? No! No... I'm sure that doesn't mean this is the best he can do. No, no... it's gotta a brilliant, scathing parody. And man, that bunny part was just a hillarious parody. All those ovals and lines barely touching each other... LOL!

Sound: See Graphics and Style. It sucks, but that's okay, because it's supposed to suck.

Violence: RED LINES EVERYWHERE! OMFG!

Interactivity: movie.

Humor: Hee hee hee... and then there's slashing noises and red lines appear on a black background... HILLARIOUS!

Overall: I usually don't bother with previews, but this one is actually pretty funny, and you can tell it had a decent ammount of work put into it for... three days... um. Okay, hold it. You got bored with your project after three days and felt the need to submit something? Isn't that what you're making fun of other authors doing just before the screen goes black? That's just wrong, dude. If 3 days was an exhausing marathon of work, how long did the other NG Parodies take you? 2 days? OH MY GOD, THESE AREN'T PARODIES! THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST FLASH THIS GUY CAN MAKE! HE'S JUST TRICKING US INTO GIVING HIM A GOOD SCORE BY MAKING FUN OF HIS PEERS! Okay, maybe not. But seriously, how can we tell?

Why don't you show us how it's done, ShadowMaster.

XxShadowMasterxX responds:

i dunno if this is bad or not.. but no its really gonna be a full flash... and It time consuming drawing EVERYTHING with a mouse...its not like I plan on spending the on on a drawing board..i got other things to pay for right now...

[Pool Rules: Part 1]

Nice work! Could stand to be more stylized.

Graphics: HOLY CRAP! They detailed the crap out of everything! Look at the city streets! Look at the stairs on that waterslide! This is just... excessive! Now id only the author had a better developed sense of perspective and the characters didn't look so wavery and stringy, this would have been a 10 in art. Animation and gestures are present and accounted for.

Style: Ugh. I guess the furres are making Flash cartoons now. Oh well. The drawings look like just that: individual drawings of people done with a ball-point pen. Instead of drawing a person standing still, facing perfectly straight forward, and then bending individual parts to make animations, try to develop a feel for drawing people diagonally. Check out some good "How to draw" books from the local library, and practice copying other people's cartoon animals. I'm not saying your individual style isn't GOOD. I'm just saying that you can learn a heck of a lot by imitating other people's styles, ESPECIALLY if their work is a far cry from your own. It makes you stronger as an artist and gives you a wider range of tools to use when expressing your own ideas.

Sound: I liked the voice of the gay otter, and the two characters really felt like they were talking to each other, kind of playing off of each other's words like on a sitcom. I didn't realize how rare this was in Flash until I noticed it here. Good work. The music is perky, fun and upbeat, without being too annoying or overshadowing the other sound. You seem to have a very good good sense of how long an intro or a montage should be.

Violence: none

interactivity: movie

Humor: Not bad. You expressed the premise fairly swiftly, followed by some fairly amusing one-liners. Yay, implied mythical creatures. The conversation was more interesting than hillarious, and a lot of that was not the words said but all in the delivery. There is something about your vocals that implies a sense of real interaction between the characters. I'm guessing you either hired professional actors or the guy and the girl who voiced this know each other personally and are very close in some way. You don't get that kind of emotional subtext in, say, Bonus Stage, and it's refreshing to find it in a Flash. I just wish I could watch a sophisticatedly written cartoon about a talking otter without involuntarily thinking, "Ewww, people who cut extra holes in their halloween costumes." *shudder* Couldn't he have been a mermaid dude or something?

Oh, and the otter fantasizing about the waterslide was the funniest thing EVAR! XD

Overall: I really, really enjoyed this, and I was blown away by the backgrounds and the voice acting. Your drawings could use a little more polish and style, and your sense of perspective definitely needs help, but you've worked hard to animate everything here to the best of your ability. Keep practicing, and I can't wait to see what else you've got in store for us. Whether it's more Pool Rules, or something else enitely, I can't wait.

elliscm responds:

Thank you so much for such a detailed, thorough review. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me so much feedback.

As for the constructive criticism regarding style, I definitely appreciate that as well. This is my first cartoon, and I'm not much of an artist anyway. I've pretty much been trying to make up for my lack of any innate talent or experience by just using hard work. I'll take your advice though and work on the drawings for the next part.

As for the furry stuff, I share your distaste for some of the things people do with those suits, but I refuse to abandon the fun idea of anthropomorphic animals just because some people do creepy things with them.

I was a little surprised by your assumption that Manny was gay though, as that hadn't really been my intention. What gave you that impression I wonder?

I'll definitely continue the series though, and hopefully, I'll continue to approve. Thanks again for the review.

[Emily Vs. The Zombie]

Awesome first submission.

Graphics: Ambitious attempt at animating the crap out of everything. Original but slightly awkward drawing style. Individual frames are not consistant with one another, nor is there any sense of 3D space or realistic anatomy. For everything poor or pediocre about this drawing style, though, this MURDERS THE EVERLOVING CRAP out of typical stick figure noobness! Good job! Read some more advanced drawing books and keep practicing!

Style: From the pacing and timing with the music to the various close-ups and implied cinematography, everything about this short oozes style. It could have been better if it had been in color. Maybe cool, soft pastels for the girl and her house, with stark black night outside and creepy grey zombieflesh. The two would contrast together pretty well, I think, as the drawing styles aready do.

Sound: I liked this music, it was perfect for a zombie attack in the middle of nowhere, and events were synched to it in a catchy, anxious way. Sound effects would have been nice.

Violence: Lots of blood, but no actual violence. It's more like... um, "mood blood."

Interactivity: Movie. (Note: change the color of the loading bar next time so we can actually see it on a white background. Duh.)

Humor: Hee. The look on her face is priceless. The pee was perhaps a bit excessive, but the pitiful look in her eyes kept it funny. The ending made absolutely no sense, but it was better than watching her getting her brains eaten. The sense of relief makes one feel like laughing anyway.

Overall: This is an artist to watch! Ambitious animation techniques. A bizare sense of humor. A perchant for actual storytelling as opposed to just showing us a bunch of stuff that happened. Over-the-top toon antics coupled with a demonstrated ability for realistic drawing. Oh, yes. This IS a Flash author to keep an eye on.

Gossio-el-Diablos responds:

I've read this review about five times, and I'll read it five more. Then I'll print it off and preserve it so one day I can show the grandkids and say...
"Look, this is the nicest thing anyone ever said to me on the internet!"
Then i'll probably cry a little and pretend I've got something in my eye. Then the grandkids will probably laugh at me. Little bastards!
WarpZone, you're a legend, thanks to you I've decided to make my nextflash 10 x more ambitious than it was going to be... oh it's gonna be good!

[CU- A Moment With Karl]

Wow. The Simpsons really has gone downhill.

Graphics: So, apparently College University is some simpsons ripoff that's been availible on the web for some time now. I think I've heard of it before... anyways, this is a well drawn and animated cartoon. The artist has a stylized yet consistant sense of anatomy and proportion, and every pose, gesture and lip synch is sublimely keyframed and tweened. I'll bet the creators have professional animtion experience. (Working for Matt Groening.)

Style: Bold cartoon colors with good lightind. Crisp, bold fonts. Tiny dots in the centers of perfectly round eyeballs, which tend to almond out at the chaarcter ages. Curved tube-like arms and legs that are hardly anatomically correct, but when used consistantly, imply a three dimmensional figure. Four fingers on each hand. I may have forgotten to mention this, but the art style looks kinda like the Simpsons.

Sound: Crisply recorded, generally amusing gravelly voices. I think I remember this Kung-Fu guy. Wasn't he the fat Texan in the episode where Santa's Little Helper banged a racing hound?

Violence: Nope.

Interactivity: There's a button you can click on to buy stuff. I award no points for interface.

Humor: Great comedic timing, a little sarcasm, a little "so sad it's funny" pathetic character laughin'-at, and a nice brisk pace. The little boy going "I'll cut yew!" Didn't get funnier every time it happened, unfortunately, it just kinda sat there and died. I found the repetition much funnier in, say, that episode of College University where Sideshow Bob kept stepping on the rakes. Still, for a short this shows promise, and even makes me slightly curious about the DVD. Maybe someone with one of those "disposable incomes" I keep hearing about would even be tempted to click on that. Me, I'll stick to my trusty stack of VHS tapes.

Overall: "SAXAMAPHONE! SAX-A-MA-PHOOOOOOOOONE!"

parks2 responds:

Hey thanks for the well thought out review, so I'll respond with a well thought out response. I know were a "Simpson's Rip off", but no more than The Family Guy is. I must say that beyond the physical similiarities- your comparisons are way off.

Using four fingers in cartoon characters is common practice, it fits nicely on the hand shape. Unless you are going for realistic- stick with 4 fingers, 5 looks creepy.

Kung Fu Karl's voice isn't based on the Fat Texan Investor from the Simpsons- That's a straight up Texan accent- KFK is a grizzled, washed up action star, who smokes weed all day- His voice is raspy, with a hint of a southern accent.

The repetive humor of Sideshow Bob stepping on the rakes over and over in the one scene, playing off of the absurdity of having a parking lot full of rakes, added to Bob making the same noise everytime- It's not even the same concept of having a strange 10 year old kid with an overly large knife, threatening a weirdo who is giving them advice. The point was that the kid wasn't listening, and the advice wasn't getting through- thus nothing happened.

Other than that- thanks again for putting so much thought into the review- I do appreciate it, but I just had to correct you on those particular Simpsons comparisons.

And yes....Saxamaphone.

[Kirby PO'ed]

"...dressed in rags and humiliated."

Graphics: Great use of sprites. The scribbled-in additional graphics such as the note and the blood look bad and clash with the pixelated elements. For some baffling reason, the artist decided to make all the objects fade out instead of fading a black box over everything, resulting in semitransparent characters whenever the screen fades to black.

Style: I thought it was stupid. You do not do this with Kirby. You do not associate Kirby with slacker grunge music and paraphenalia. Maybe this was supposed to be an attempt at challenging contrast of elements, (which if it was, I guess I have to admit, it certianly clashed with my preconceptions and challenged by ideas about Kirby,) but I seriously doubt any sprite artists at NewGrounds are that artistic or clever. More likely, it was a cheap joke. Either way, the Flash as a whole didn't amuse me. Your mileage may vary.

Sound: I wanted to give this a 1. Style, too. But then I realized that however much I may not have liked the movie, it is competently rendered. Dammit. The lame, washed-out, boring annoying grunge tunes are perfectly suited to a Mountain Dew ad, and the sound effects are all kirby, and timed very well with the animation. It's just... this whole Flash is just wrong, darn you! :P Things in Kirby don't bleed!

Violence: above average. There's shooting and crushing and bright red pools of blood. It's not realistic enough to be TOO horrible, though.

Interactivity: Movie. Painful, painful movie.

Humor: Other people might tell you this is funny. For all I know, they might be right. I didn't laugh.

Overall: I think I've made my feelings pretty clear. No, I'm not a Nintendo Fanboy, I'm a Kirby Fanboy. I reacted the same way when it was Amy Rose up there on the Flash screen using a vibrator. It's just plain bad and annoying and stupid and wrong. That's my opinion, anyway. I'm sure other people will love it, though, so my two can't have hurt it that badly.

Balik responds:

Hey, man. Wouldn't it be boring if kirby would just go up to Metaknight and go "Please give me my Mountain Dew back kthxbi". Thanks for the review though :).

[What is a flash?]

Ceci n'est pan une flash.

Graphics: Best use of crappy JPEGs I've ever seen. Vextor aret is your typical so-so Lockery.

Style: Classical music, big words and flowery text all combine to simulate a public television special. Then things gradually get faster and faster and it goes off the rails when communistlock starts heckling. Soon there's almost too much going on at once to read AND laugh. You have to pick one or the other.

Sound: That's some good music. And some crappy, crappy robot voice. Good job.

Violence: none.

Interactivity: Ceci n'est pan une game.

Humor: Moderately funny, in a John Cleese kind of way. I mean, seriously, who likes to listen to some guy prattle on for pages and pages of text on some subject, no matter how insightful or apropriate his comments may or may not be? Hey, wait... isn't that StrageLock...? *BANG!*

JujubeLock responds:

"Style: Classical music, big words and flowery text all combine to simulate a public television special. Then things gradually get faster and faster and it goes off the rails when communistlock starts heckling. Soon there's almost too much going on at once to read AND laugh. You have to pick one or the other."

This is true, and is the one biggest mistake I made with this flash.