WarpZone's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[The Ultimate Showdown]

Oh God, that's just amusing!

I love this music video! Take the lamest conversation evar about which fictional characters would beat up other fictional characters in a fight, compose some elaborately rhymed lyrics with the names of as many 80's superstars as you can think of, animate it with aplomb but don't overdo it trying to make it look realistic, and top it all off with Abe Lincoln's zombie. Suddenly you've got the kind of parody that appeals to everyone. I still can't get over how well the guy made "Spock, The Rock, Doc Oc, and Hulk Hogan" roll off his tongue. I'm easily amused. I don't think this deserves the #1 of all time slot... but at the same time, I MUST FIVEN! Good job.

And the guy who recorded the song, he needs to sell it on CD. This kind of song BELONGS on a home-stamped CD single or an unknown alternative label's bargian-bin clutter. Underground for life, man. Underground for life. If you took it out of FruityLoops and got it professionally recorded and had it published by a recording company, it would lose all the cheesey homebrew charm. And let's face it, you'd never get the rights to say half those TMs on the radio.

[Legend without Zelda BOD1]

Not since that Sonic TVshow with Grounder in it...

Graphics: Crude, ugly, course, cheesey, blocky, goofy, quite unlike any of the Zelda games (not even Celda: Wind Walker,) and generally not what you'd expect. Why'd I give them a 7, then? Because they're FUNNY! Also, some nice use of perspective and scrolling. Aure, there's a lot that could be improved upon, but what's here conveys the message in an amusing way.

Style: Assuming that these ugly, puffy, overinflated cartoon characters with knobby knees and stupid expressions were done this way on PURPOSE, then the author did a great job doing something goofy and silly with Zelda. The anime-style montage worked for me, though it could have been funnier in some places.

Sound: Crystal clear game rips mixed with mediocre end-user voice acting, featuring brief snippets of musical selections from all over the place, including the original games and Overclocked.

Violence: Link falls on his ass a few times. I guess that's more violent than a flash cartoon where everyone stands perfectly still and nobody ever falls down or gets hit with anything.

Interactivity: Not bad for a movie.

Humor: Interesting. Mildly diverting. It wasn't all that funny most of the time, but I enjoyed seeing this very stylized twist on Zelda. Note to author: the people talking fast were the funniest part of this movie. Work with that. Develop it. It would be nice to see some original video game jokes for once. Anybody can complain about old-school gameplay. It takes a special kind of writer to make those complaints funny.

Overall: I thought this was actually good. I've seen solid snake parodies less competently executed than this get on the front page. I wish the author luck in his future creations. If this hideous drawing style was intentional, I'm sure it will only get funnier with time. If it was unintentional, I'm sure the author will change it with practice and experience. It's all a question of what he was going for. I'm going to give him the bennefit of the doubt and assume this was what he wanted it to look and feel like. It's very expressive, and it says a lot to me, and it makes me feel a certian way when I see these hideously deformed characters running around talking, and so I'm going to call it a win. Kinda like 8-BITCH FYVE, remember that? It was horrible... but with purpose! And so it was funny. This cartoon wasn't quite as funny as 8-BF, but it was a good, solid effort. More, please.

[Come hither, young maid!]

Made me smile, even though fish aren't monogamous.

Modes of Reproduction:

Ovopartity-- Lay undeveloped eggs, External fertilization (90% of bony fish), Internal fertilization (some sharks and rays)

Ovoviviparity- Internal development- without direct maternal nourishment-Advanced at birth (most sharks + rays)-Larval birth (some scorpeaniforms-rockfish)

Viviparity- Internal development- direct nourishment from mother-Fully advanced at birth (some sharks, surf perches)

In fishes, oviparity is most common; the eggs are inexpensive to produce, and as eggs are in the water, they do not dry out (oxygen, nutrients are not scarce). The adult can produce many offspring, which they broadcast into the plankton column. When the offspring settle out of the plankton, they may be in totally new environments, allowing for a great area in which the young may survive. This mode also comes with its disadvantages; when born, the fish must first go through a larval stage for growth before they transform into the adult stage. In this larval stage, they must fend for themselves in obtaining food and avoiding predation. They may not find a suitable environment when they settle out of the plankton column. The survival of individual eggs is very low, so millions of eggs must be produced in order for the parent to successfully produce offspring. The other modes have their advantages, the eggs are much less prone to predation when carried within the mother, and the young are born fully advanced and ready to deal with the environment as miniature adults. These advantages come with a price-tag also; the adult must supply nutrients to its offspring and can only produce a few eggs at a time. The young are limited to the environment that their parents were in, and if this environment is deteriorating, they are stuck with it.

Parental care: In fishes, parental care is very rare as most fish are broadcast spawners, but there are a few instances of parental care. Male gobies guard the eggs in a nest until they are born. The male yellowhead jawfish actually guards the eggs by holding them in his mouth! Weird Fish Sex!

Some fish are very kinky creatures by human standards, displaying behavior that would probably get a human incarcerated for a long time.

I quoted this information from a website. I won't tell you which website cuz I don't want to get banned.

[Punto GGG-Playa Nudista]

(psst... Playa Nudista == Nude Beach.)

Graphics: Awesome, very well stylized art. Color would make it even better. Everything looks very crisp and precise, with everything rendered in thick vector lines.

Style: Little things, like the way the car moved up the mountain trail, looked very cheesey and cartoony, which in this case is good. Also, the use of red in an otherwise black-and-white movie is always good.

Sound: UGH! The sailor music loops around to the title screen! >.< Other than that, the music was nice and lively, and it matched the visuals.

Violence: none

Interactivity: none

Humor: LOL! Yes, I understood the story. :) You did a good job of storytelling, even without words. I got the jokes, too. Maybe peopel who don't know what Playa Nudista means wouldn't get it. The whole joke is, the audience expects them to get naked, right? :P If you wanted to make this cartoon more accessible to Newgrounds, you could maybe change the sign to say NUDE BEACH, or something. But that's only if you give a damn about whether a bunch of yanks laugh or not. :P

Overall: Very good! :) Submit more! :D Also, I think your cartoon was a lot classier than other adult flash websites that have submitted SWFs to Newgrounds.

(Arrepentido acerca de este español malo. Soy un Americano estúpido. : P Nosotros Somos demasiado perezosos ser bilingüe, así que tuve un sitio web lo traduce para mí.)

La gráfica: el arte muy bien estilizada Impresionante. El color lo haría aún mejor. Todo mira muy curruscante y preciso, con todo rindió en líneas gruesas de vector.

El estilo: las cosas Pequeñas, quieren la manera que el coche movió arriba el rastro de montaña, mirado muy cheesey y cartoony, que en este caso es bueno. También, el uso de rojo en una película blanca y de otro modo negra es siempre bueno.

¡El sonido: UGH! ¡La música del marinero serpentea alrededor a la primera pantalla! >. <de otra manera que eso, la música era agradable y viva, y emparejó el visual.

La violencia: ninguno

Interactividad: ninguno

¡El humor: LOL! Sí, entendí el cuento. :) Usted hizo un trabajo bueno de narrativa, aún sin palabras. Obtuve los chistes, también. Quizá peopel que no sabe que qué medios de Playa Nudista no lo obtendrían. ¿El chiste entero es, la audiencia espera que ellos obtengan desnudo, el derecho? : P Si usted quiso hacer esta tira humorística más accesible a Newgrounds, usted quizá podría cambiar el signo para decir PLAYA NUDISTA, o algo. Pero eso es único si usted da un maldito acerca de si un ramo de tira la risa o no. : P

¡General: Muy bueno! ¡:) Se Somete más! : D También, yo pienso que su tira humorística era mucho más elegante que otros sitios web rápidos adultos que se han sometido SWFs a Newgrounds.

Masklin8 responds:

Thank you for your extensive review! I really appreciate it. I'll take your advice about the sound. Very helpful!

[Porno Creep]

Creepy, twisted, disturbing and demented. No pr0n.

I'm usually not a fan of goth/emo/Tim Burton wannabe stuff, but you take the style and run with it. You use it in clever, twisted, creative ways that I did not find predictable or annoying at all. I'm curious to see if you can tell a story that's as interesting as your simple animations. Every single short had a point to it. Some of them, like the robot trying to eat an icecream stick, were hillarious. Others, like the monkey licking his lips, were just plain scary. The girl playing hopscotch was probabaly the low point, because I was waiting to see what the twist would be, and it was like "Wait for it... oh. She just got eaten. Big deal." I can see unexpected deaths in HUNDREDS of Flash cartoons on Newgrounds, so it wasn't as amusing as the other shorts. The girl's eyes popping out, turning her eyes into scary overused goth black pools, was kind of intriguing. It was like "Huh. So that's how goth cartoon characters get like that."

In short, definitely keep up the good work. Keep synching the action up to the music, keep doing unpredictable things, keep delighting and disturbing at the same time. I have no complaints whatsoever about this submission, which is rare for me.

Next, I hope you make a toon that tells a story. Or, want a personal challenge? I tripple dawg dare you to make a Flash montage that's full of bright colors. XD Just because it's not your thing, and I want to see if you can combine your thing with it in some bizare, twisted way. XD

[Sonic Tribute Collab]

Competent but uninteresting sonic collab

Graphics, style, and overall quality varied wildly from author to author, much more than in, say, that We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful collab. The scores you see represent an average, my overall opinion of this Flash as a whole.

IMHO, Hyperactive'a art looked the best, but he didn't do much in the animation department. I'm not big on shiny gradients in Flash to begin with, and I think they look terrible on Sonic, so that part didn't impress me too much, even though the animation was excellent. I really liked the race scene, the way they took off looked really impressive and cinematic. It was nice to see all those various misc. Sonic characters, like Chaotix and such. It's just a shame they weren't actually USED for something. Just sort of scrolled across the screen and posed. Sonic characters with concave heads and giant screwey deformed eyes make me cry inside, as do biplanes featuring foot-thick rectangular bricks for wings. I just thank GOD Cluck and Grounder weren't in it. And one thing that pissed me off more than any other aspect of this presentation: Did Sonic REALLY need to turn into Super-Sonic every ten goddamned seconds? I mean one time, he actually went SS WHILE CHASING A CHAOS EMERALD! WTF was that? Overall, it was nice to see a sonic collab, I guess. This just one wasn't done particularly well, is all.

[Fireman vs. Iceman]

I haven't seen a duel quite like this before.

A little simplistic, but it's still a hell of a lot better than stick movies. I was a little underwhelmed by the endings. In the end, I didn't have much of a reason to care about either of these elemental warriors, and neither death was especially funny or interesting, at least not more so than any of their normal attacks. If they'd had a REASOn to fight, this would have been a STORY! :D Keep that in mind for the next Flash you do. I see potential in your work, kid! :)

Coaly responds:

Well, thank you. It was simplistic, and the only reason they were fighting was because they were opposite forces.

[How Newgrounds Functions]

I hate these dumb parodies. Just kidding.

That was clever. :) It won't be clever anymore in three days when everybody and his livejournal copies it, but for now, it's clever.

EvilBerryClock responds:

thank you for the review :)