WarpZone's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Arkandian Crusade]

40 hour grindquest; zero choices ever.

The way the developer bangs on about "choices" you'd swear he thinks he invented the JRPG or something. What you've got here is a fairly basic AdventureQuest knockoff with quite linear gameplay, which could have been extremely rich and nonlinear if the developer weren't constantly thwarting his own excellent core gameplay implementation with some arbitrary bullshit game rules.

- You can't visit areas you've already cleared. (Except for a repetitive sewer level that you can farm for free, and a single random dungeon that keeps refreshing itself when you leave.) This means that even though you can technically take the quests in any order you want, you are doomed to eventually complete them all. Worse, you'll be encouraged to do them in order of increasing travel cost (and, one assumes, difficulty.)

- It costs money to enter a dungeon. This means that once you enter a dungeon, you might as well clean it out completely. Otherwise you'd just have to pay again to come back and mop up the last of the treasure. This means that, like the quests, the contents of any particular quest are something you're doomed to consume. You can fight the enemies in any order you choose, but that doesn't matter either because:

- You can't see what enemy you're about to fight until after combat starts.

and

- You can never flee from a fight you're losing.

This means that for any given dunegon, you may as well fight the enemies in random order, or in alphabetical order, or in the order they're indexed in the array, for all the "choice" you have in the matter. There is no real tactical planning involved, no input skill required, and certainly no moral choices.

The entire supposedly nonlinear game can be played with the heuristic: Equip Best Loot; Goto Cheapest Dungeon; Fight Random Enemy; If Weak Use Potion; Repeat; And I couldn't think of any real reason to play the game in any other fashion.

Even the loot, normally an addictive greed-fueled source of longevity for dungeon crawlers of all stripes falls incredibly flat here. I'm not sure if the items you find are templates modified with stats like in Diablo or simply prefabs stored in memory as an integer like in Castlevania:SOTN, but either way the game sacrifices bonuses-per-item to ensure that you can store an enormous number of items in your vault. You won't be getting a +27 fire sword of Teleportation and Mana Regeneration in this game. I mean you might randomly find one, but it'll be Vlad the Immolator, one of 5 or 10 named weapons the designer invented. It won't be randomly generated and it certianly won't be upgraded by you from a weaker item.

There's a crafting system but I couldn't get into it. I couldn't even afford to buy my way up to 100% buy price, 50% sell price by buying and selling minor healing potions to get skill points in bargaining. It's obvious you're going to basically need to do this if you're ever to have any hope of buying the more expensive gear later, but it feels like cruel and unusual punishment.

You can choose sword, bow, or magic, and they all basically do the same thing with different stats, but the wooden sword that gives you a huge bonus to Learning that you find in the first dungeon means, again, the game takes a choice away from you rather than giving you one.

There's more to say but I'm running out of space. The bottom line is it's an okay RPG that could have been great. It's long. That's the best thing I can say about it. If you like grinding you'll love getting this much grind for free.

But you never choose dialogue options, combine things to make interesting combos, date (or indeed, meet) other party members, or do any of the other RPG things normally associated with "Choice." Achievements, skills, items and victories are all purely mechanical. They are a puzzle with one right answer, and that answer is painfully obvious the moment you look at it.

You never choose between factions. You never have a choice except "take this quest now" or "take it later." It is not a game about "choices," or even options.

Just grind.

Noxins responds:

Most people who write a tl:dr review tend to play the game they're reviewing for more than 10 minutes.

[Prison Planet]

Almost as annoying as Xeno Tactic.

Once again, we have another TD game that confuses obfuscation of game rules with depth of play. There's no real enemy diversity or level diversity here to present new and interesting tactical challenges. Just a really pointlessly hard game.

From the bone-shatteringly stupid towers who favor the nearest enemy rather than the enemy closest to the finish line, to the splash weapons that vanish in midair if the enemy they're targeting happens to die, to the upgrades that cause your turrets' stats to go DOWN, practically every common TD element has been given special Magical Fail Powers that cause it to not do what it says on the box.

This philosophy of hiding important details from the player extends to the basic interface. Since unit stats are displayed as bars rather than numbers, a desperate player can't even try to crunch the numbers. The timer starts ticking down before you place your first turret, giving the player no chance to learn to a new level's layout. If you so much as take the time to note which door the enemies are coming out of and which one they're heading towards, you'll waste valuable seconds.

The result is a game in which it is impossible (or at least very, very unintuitive) to predict the results of any choice presented to you. The entire game is a clusterfuck. You'll spend dozens of replays trying to figure out what the magical combination is that will actually prevent prisoners from escaping, and then the game slaps you with a Demerit.

That's right.

The game. Punishes the player. For trying to learn.

There's just no excuse for this. The game tries to be un-fun in every way possible. First it prevents you from winning. Then it prevents you from learning. Then it prevents you from playing. Un-fun doesn't even cover it. This game is antifun. I would treat it like a game-as-art experiment if the graphics and sound weren't trying so hard to actually be good. They actually support the theme of the game extremely well. I can't accept it as a Troll Submission either for the same reason. I just don't know what to make of it.

If you enjoy constantly dying because your units are drooling incompetent morons, constantly being forced to choose the lesser of two evils in realtime with no prior gameplay experience, losing level progress as punishment for trying to figure out the core gameplay, and being overwhelmed by stupid unwinnable odds rather than any legitimate challenge, go play the pen & paper RPG Paranoia with some friends. You'll have a lot more fun than you would trying to figure out how to wring the fun out of this pile of bullshit.

battlecritters responds:

We made some mission modifications, so the game is not quite as intense as it was before, hopefully you'll find the game a little easier to play now.

We've also made some modifications to level 1 so that users will get a gentler initiation to the BattleCritters Prison system :)

You'll still get a Demerit if you fail a mission however, Prison Planets Warden is a touch coookie, and doesn't like any humies escaping!

Thanks for your honest review.

[Strategy Defense 3.5]

Very little strategy, very little defense.

You know, I think I'm starting to appreciate the subtleties of this series a little bit. Yes, it's still a long, slow, tedious grind. A futile perpetual slog through enemy territory, interrupted only by the celebratory precision airstrikes that always accompany a new content drop. Like the amazing invention of vehicles that make you slower, or three guys standing in a row who inexplicably cost less and do less damage than they would have if you'd bought them individually.

But underneath all that, there's a good game struggling to get out. The core gameplay is still flushing your entire nation's economy down a big toilet until the pile of corpses is so big, it tips over and flattens the enemy base, but every now and then you'll notice touches of actual depth. The units are actually varied, even if it did take a while to notice it. In general newer units still trump older ones, but there are considerations like whether to favor range or movement speed. In some situations you'll want to buy a bunch of the very strongest unit to give you a damage spike, but for the most part the sweet spot seems to be something one generation old, favoring movement speed or health depending on how far away the front lines are from your base.

Finally, the game throws some asymmetrical level designs your way, including a couple which do allow for some strategy, and one which is fought entirely defensively.

That said, it's still not FUN. This is Strategy Defense we're talking about. The flash game series synonymous with tedium. It still lulls you to sleep with 20 minutes of stalemate, followed by 30 seconds of frantically trying to balance tank and boat output when the alternate routes start opening up. The turrets are still pretty much useless, not that that stops the enemy from instantly purchasing a complete matching set every single time the inventions happen. At its core it's still the tactical equivalent of Will It Blend.

If you're looking for a good time-waster and you have the patience to stomach waiting for two incredibly slow-moving armies to collide the center of a map like two stom systems on a weathermap in real time, then you've probably already played an enjoyed the other Strategy Defense games. This one is no exception. It's another Strategy Defense, in all its glory. If you're into that kind of thing, enjoy! There's very little strategy, and very little defense, but at least there's a little bit this time. That's gotta be an improvement!

[Sp33d]

I thought match-3 was h3r01n, not Sp33d!

This is basically the simplest possible Match-3 game with only a single gameplay mode and a high-score-table mentality. So, nothing special. But it does one thing really well, and that's move the game forward.

I suspect it is possible to play the game into such a state that no possible moves exist. I was never able to prove to my own satisfaction that this was the case, but I played several times until I could no longer see any possible moves. The game never flushed the whole board and randomly generated a new one, though, which is the usual way of preventing an unwinnable state.

I've played a couple other match-3 games before, and this frankly isn't my favorite. While the display is rock-solid, the interface leaves something to be desired. The click-and-drag works okay but it somewhat renders moot the speed gains the title suggests the developers were aiming for. You can't just drag the mouse around the screen "discovering" matches, which is how it usually works in the fastest match-3 games.

Also, I dislike games where the only point is to see how long you can last. Tacking on a high-score table does nothing for me. I would rather see more diverse gameplay modes. Maybe let me grind for a little longer before you increase the number of elements on the board. It goes from 3 colors to like 8 colors in about 30 seconds, so you go from the manic euphoria of making extreme combos to the drudgery of picking through the remains looking for 3 of a kind.

I almost suspect everything I've complained about in this review was an intentional design choice on the part of the developer, to force the player into a game over as quickly as possible and make sure everyone's game lasted only a couple of minutes. What I don't understand is why this was considered desirable. This isn't an arcade game, where other people are waiting in line and every time I die I put in another quarter. This is a web-based game. You want long-term gameplay that seems deeper than it is on account of persistence, and gives me a reason to come back and play it again and again. You want goals I can chip away at over time, saved games, maybe even an experience point system that lets me unlock new stuff over time.

I realize resources such as time and expertise were limited on a small project like this one, but I feel like the developers were misguided. Thow in a menu where you can select from a bunch of gameplay modes. Track my score in each of these levels seperately. Track how many matches I've made and what my largest combo is. Make a screen where all of this information is visible to the player. Then, start screwing with the game rules randomly in those different gameplay modes.

Oh, and make a saved game that loads and saves automatically.

It's a little extra work, but once you do it, the depth and long-term appeal of your game will increase by a LOT. And I can guarantee that implementing this stuff won't take nearly as long as polishing your core mechanic the degree that you clearly already have.

bdjcomic responds:

Thanks for the input! Yeah, a lot of the chocies were to force a sense of pressure (which I was hoping would lend some addictive qualities) but to leave space for a player to, y'know, stop. As far as longer-term tracking of stats, I've given some consideration to going back and adding this, if I feel there is enough demand for it.

As far as the board having no moves left, in survival mode that causes a game over (and your remaining time is given as a time bonus), and in the time attack modes will cause a board reset (in hindsight that might have been spelled out a little clearer.)

I definitely will take this into account going forward though. Thanks again!

[Tentacle Wars]

How to turn a fun game into a frustrating one...

It's been said that the best video games combine a planning challenge with an execution challenge. If that's true, then it follows that the one surefire way to ruin a game is to cockblock the player from both planning and executing his plan. Tentacle Wars is that game. Let's go down the list:

- Start with a totally new gameplay concept so the player isn't familiar with the game's verbs or interface. (Or at least rip off something you saw on Kongregate.)

- Don't include a tutorial. After all, a walkthrough is pretty much the same thing, right?

- Use obscure level names that seem to hint at the level solution but don't really mean anything unless you already know the answer.

- Carefully balance the gameplay so that even a moment's hesitation will force the player to start over.

- Make as much time as possible pass between the player performing an action and seeing the result of that action.

- Don't even bother writing up your walkthrough, just record yourself beating your own game and then put it up on youtube. Everyone knows there's nothing more fun than watching someone else play the game you wanted to play.

- BitmapData display programming is the fastest way to improve performance in flash, so don't use it. Instead, use MovieClips! That way flash will randomly hang for a split second every so often on some systems, causing the player to mis-time your clicks.

-Restrict the player's gameplay options to a single correct answer in the later levels. Make sure this solution is as obtuse as possible. If you must throw the player a bone, for example by altering the level over time so that a secondary solution becomes feasible, be sure not to tell him that's what you're doing so he thinks it's a glitch.

- Give the second-to-last level some pointless busywork at the beginning so that every time the player dies, he has to go through the hassle of executing the same 4 or 5 obvious opening moves again and again.

- Make the final level insultingly easy. Hey, it worked for Halo 3!

-Tack on a story, literally, so the player knows what's going on right after he finishes completely beating the game. If you can't think of anything original, just quote some famous author.

If, despite all of this, your game has nice graphics, a novel gameplay mechanic, a satisfying difficulty curve, and a quick way to retry when you lose, your game might actually end up being good in spite of itself.

[Diesel Valkyrie]

Hard due to implementation constraints, not depth.

Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it. Diesel Valkyrie is hard. It's damn, damn hard. Too hard for my liking. I'm just going to get that out of the way up front.

So if you're one of those badass hardcore gamers who thinks modern games have gotten too easy, you'll love this one. Stop reading right now and play it.

If you'd like to know more about the specific ways in which it's too hard, and why being hard in that way is a problem, read on.

Here's the thing. I'm not convinced being able to shoot 8 directions was due to limited art assets. There's no reason they couldn't have a character that only faces 8 directions, but shots which come out in all 360 degrees. You know, like Diablo, or Zombie Shooter. It might look a little wonky as each shot left the barrel, but you cover that up with a muzzleflash and nobody minds because you've combined the attractive graphics of a 2.5D sprite game with the familiar and precise keyboard & mouse gunplay we've all come to know and love.

More to the point, though, I'm not sure the limited aiming is the reason it's too hard. I watched carefully, and even though I could never aim precisely where I wanted to, very few of my shots ever actually *missed.* I would still hit a zombie most of the time. Just not the zombie I was aiming for. So in terms of crowd control, I was doing as much damage to the horde as I would if I had precise aiming. Furthermore, as long as you're careful and pick up every powerup, the game really isn't all that difficult.

So why are so many people complaining about the difficulty? Because the game *feels* harder than it actually is. It's frustrating. It's difficult to control. It engages lobes of your brain that last saw action trying to dodge medusa heads while climbing stairs in Castlevania. It feels like a headache. It is not a fun feeling.

Also, because you can't aim at a specific monster, there's no potential for target prioritization. This was a big part of the Serious Sam games, specific enemies that needed to be taken out first, or at the right moment, for various reasons, all of them emerging from the core gameplay. If a particular fight is hard, it's hard because of the enemy balance and your maneuvering and weapons choice. For me, this emergent complexity is the whole point of swarm games.

This element is completely absent in Diesel Valkyrie, at least what I saw of it. In the levels I played, weapons are temporary powerups dropped from the heavens in random spots on the map, the enemies are all clones of the exact same slow-moving, high-armored melee attack zombie, and dodging and shooting just isn't fun to do.

Circle-strafing, my go-to arena shooter tactic, doesn't really work in these levels, which means you'll need to face the direction you're traveling and punch through the horde to reach a powerup on the other side of the horde. This probably sounded good on paper, it makes sense with the 8-direction aiming, and it's perfectly serviceable. It's just not fun to do.

Also, does each zombie really need this much health? Why not make most enemies die from one bullet, with a few big zombies sprinkled in there that take more? This would make the pea-shooter feel more deadly, and the big guns feel like godly WMDs, which would ultimately make the gunplay feel visceral and more exciting. As it is, the weapons feel weak and the powered-up weapons feel barely adequate. Maybe this would work in a survival horror game, but this game presents itself as a straightforward action game.

It's sad because everything else about this game screams pure class. I feel like the opportunity was missed to turn these characters, settings, and art assets into a kick-ass game that's fun to play. I would encourage the developer to explore other genres for these characters. In fact, I would personally love to take a stab at it if they feel like sharing the assets with me.

likwidgames' first foray into action games is gorgeous and polished, but ultimately falls flat due to crude player inputs and extremely limited depth.

[Digital Upgrade]

Drop/Match game with a brilliant difficulty curve.

I was never that big on puzzle games. And I've been largely left out of the new Casual Games movement. So understand that if this game is just a knock-off of some Popcap game or something, I'll be the last to know.

I bring this up because Digital Upgrade has such a simple, intuitive, and refined core mechanic, I can't imagine it being novel. If it was novel before this game was released on newgrounds, by the end of the day it will have knock-offs circling the drains of every casual games portal on the interwebs.

You play as a... guy... downloading stuff... actually, to be honest, I couldn't follow the narrative. You turn viruses into good files, and good files into hardware. How does that even work? Maybe you're a hacker, and the resources you're juggling belong to other users? Whatever. It's not important.

The graphics are crisp and consistent and serve the theme, if not the plot, very nicely. Color and shape are both used to help you tell the shapes apart, which is important in a game like this. There's a skippable tutorial which explains the basic controls and combo mechanics, but honestly, you can figure it out pretty quickly on your own.

Combos generally try to condense the new object down as low as possible, and if there's a toss-up on the bottom row, it will move the resulting object as far left as possible. But once or twice I was surprised by where the new token ended up... to the point where I'm not sure if it's deterministic, or if the game puts the new icon in the place it thinks you can make the best use of it.

Either way, the game gives you plenty of time to think before each move. Which makes it odd that I played it so rapidly. It's a testament to how intuitive and approachable the game is. Also, the game's music becomes more decisive the higher your stack grows, which can lend an emotional urgency that spurs you on more effectively than any arbitrary time limit.

All things considered, this is easily the best puzzle game I have ever played. It's incredibly easy to just drop in and start playing and make a bunch of combos, and it's almost impossible to keep that going when you craft your way down to the big toys. Is that icon that looks like the Earth the endgame? Do you take over the world if you can make just one of them? I believe it.

Easy to learn, difficult to master does not cover it. This game starts off so simple anyone could do it, and it ends up nearly impossible, all thanks to increased complexity. You decide when you make a move and you decide when you advance. It really is your fault when you die... which is why it bugs me that I can almost never make it further than the diskettes!

I made it as far as USBs once, though, and I can tell my style of play could still be honed further. Unlike the vast majority of hard games, I feel like with practice and experience I will get there someday. There are tactics I haven't tried and emergent mechanics I haven't figured out yet. You can tell it's lurking there, just under the surface, and the process of discovering that complexity is as intuitive and automatic as picking up the basic gameplay.

Because of all this, I feel confident giving this game a perfect 10 without having beaten it. The narrative is light, but if they'd gone all the way with it it would have been hackneyed and overwrought. The game is hard, but it's hard for all the right reasons.

This is not a game I would have made myself, but unlike most games on Newgrounds, if I'd had creative control over the project, I wouldn't have done a thing differently.

(If it turns out some other game did combos this way first, and this is just a rehash, bump that 10 down to a 6. It's hard to believe a puzzle game this could could be totally new at this day and age, but since I'm not a puzzle fan and don't have time to research it by playing every puzzle game ever for the fist time, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt until someone with more genre experience can step in and mention it in their review.)

[Spacer]

Games Factory can do better than this, guys.

I used to use Games Factory, back in the day. This was long before I got Flash, and indeed, long before Flash could be used to make decent browser games.

Among other projects, I created a game called Heart Attack, which won a contest on their website. I was deeply involved with the community for a while, and I saw a lot of games come and go, good and bad.

The reason I'm telling you all this is to put this submission and my review of it into context. It's obvious from the author notes that ClickTeam put this game on Newgrounds to advertise their games creation software, so I feel it's only fair to review the game according to how well it make the pitch.

Quite frankly, I remember Games Factory as having the potential to be better than this. They had scrolling backgrounds, for example, even back as far as the ol' Click & Create engine, if you knew how to kludge it. There were additive blending effects. There were rotations. There were not alpha blending until a later version of the tool was released, I think that was MMF, but that's beside the point.

The point is that this looks like the same old top-down shooter that was bundled with the my original Games Factory disk back in 1992. You got 3D spaceships pre-rendered into tiny sprites. No alpha channels, so individual pixels don't blend into the background. No scrolling. No glow effects. Echoey explosion sound effects and cheesy techno loops that sound like the filesize limitations of wav were the deciding factor in how long they could be... just a lot of really old ideas and old implementations, even though the content itself, from what I can tell, appears to be fresh.

Adding insult to injury are the stock Flash buttons with antialiasing intact. I have no idea if this represents the capabilities of the new Games Factory 2, or if it's just some sort of interface layer encapsulating the GF2 plugin, or if the entire thing runs on some sort of emulator in Flash. All I know is, Flash can do better than this. Love2D can do better than this. Perhaps Games Factory 2 can do better than this. But if it can, they didn't show off all its strong suits with this demo.

(If it can't, then they should be showcasing this technology with one of those extremely retro games that use pixel art!)

Maybe I'll take a look at the source later, since they offered. :P But as of this build, I can't say I'm too impressed. Either with this game or with the product that made it possible.

And that really hurts to say, because I had a lot of fun playing around with good ol' Games Factory back in my youth. ;_;

FlyinV responds:

Heart Attack was a great game.

[Age of Kingdom]

Why do they keep remaking this game?

I keep seeing this game, released over and over again on Newgrounds. Someone makes a new version of it every 6 months or so. It has better graphics each time, but the gameplay never gets any better.

It presents itself as a town-building, army-raising game. But because important mechanics of the economy are deliberately hidden from the player, it's impossible to know ahead of time what units you need to build next . They hide cause-and-effect from the player, as if a game where the player knows what to do next is some kind of tragic mistake.

I figured out a couple of the underlying gameplay mechanics through trial and error, and actually won a battle. The game won't let you compete in a battle if you have fewer units than them, even if your units are all Wizards and they have nothing but weak melee units. If you do manage to actually get in a battle, just put all your guys in a row. It does not matter if the enemy walks past you. All that matters is how many attacks hit. This makes the arbitrary unit number requirement even more annoying, since you are mysteriously not allowed to compete in battles you could easily win by lining all your wizards up.

It's a resource management game that expects you to read the developer's mind. Instead of a game that's easy to learn, difficult to master, this is a game which is impossible to learn, and would be trivial to master, if all of the gameplay rules were exposed to the player.

I suppose if you play it 100 times, you could understand what the most efficient build order is, and then you could start to have fun. However, there is no reason to play a not-fun game 99 times when Newgrounds is *full* of games that are fun right from the start.

[Saturday Night Bloodfest]

It's all fun and games until someone loses an ear!

This simple Smash TV clone managed to implement weapon upgrades in a way I found incredibly enjoyable. Mainly because no build order is particularly useless. I found shotguns very entertaining, but SMGs really kept me alive while saving up points for that gatling laser.

While the weapon stats are all over the map, each gun really does improve upon the previous gun in that branch of the tree, and all the capstone weapons are ridiculously overpowered. Perhaps more importantly, they all feel deadly, even your starting pistol in the first room.

My favorite part of this one has got to be the audio. The cheesy carnival muzzak becomes increasingly atonal after a few bats to the head. It becomes noticeable around 60% health, culminating in total deafness when you're down to 10%. It cracked me up when I first noticed it, and it never got old.

While lacking the visual quality, scrolling, and money-grabbing of Daytraders of the Dead, the guns are so good, I almost feel like the long-term payoff is higher in some ways. Good stuff!